To live in darkness
by dreamland4
Summary: Uther is forcing Arthur to marry. I hope you like it. I own nothing of Merlin.


**Comments: It's starts in the middle again, just a crazy idea that popped into my head. I hope you like it. Thank you everyone that reviewed, it really mean so much. So thank you.**

"I do not want to marry _her_!" Arthurs voice was strained his anger no longer being able to hold within him.

"Arthur marrying Princess Izabel with unite us with Mercia, an alliance, as you well know, that will secure the safety of Camelot" Uther placed his hands on either side of Arthur's shoulders.

"I do not love her" Arthur tried; he knew the reasons why he should marry her and the one main reason he did not want to _Guinevere_.

Uther chuckled "What do you know of love?" his son had never known love, he had of course had many infatuations before, but love he doubted he had ever felt that before.

Arthur wanted to say to him that he knew what love was, the kind of love that consumed him, that gave him a reason to rise in the morning and to sleep at night. But what could he say to his father, that he loved a servant girl more than life itself? "I won't marry her!" he pulled away from his father's glare, so he could not see the pain in his eyes.

"You would commit Camelot to war rather than marry a beautiful princess?" His temper was rising, Arthur had always been a stubborn child.

"Yes, I would rather die in the battled field than spend each day looking into the eyes of someone I care nothing of!" Arthur folded his arms and glared back at his father.

"YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE YOU CONDEMN TO DEATH WITH YOUR ACTIONS!" Uther banged his hands hard on the wooden table. His hands shook in rage as he now pointed them at Arthur "You will marry her, the announcement will be made in the morning"

"I WILL NOT!" Arthurs hands bashed on the other side of the table, like two lion's circling.

"I will announce the engagement tomorrow. You either arrive voluntarily or I WILL drag you there myself" his words were tainted with venom.

He was about to retort back when a loud knock came at the door and Sir Leon entered.

"My lord, I have an urgent letter for you!" Uther finally snapped out of his glaring match with Arthur and turned to Leon holding his hand out "It better be important"

Arthur took the opportunity to leave, he stormed out of the chambers with Uther shouting "TOMORROW ARTHUR!"

He didn't have any further time to talk to his father, he knew that nothing would change his mind...so he needed to take action. He would do anything for Camelot, anything but marrying someone he did not love, why should he? A few years ago he probably would have agreed, after all the Princess wasn't that bad looking, but she was not Guinevere and for months, even years now he had realised that a simple maid held his heart and his happiness in her hands.

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Merlin had heard all the rumours of a shouting match with Uther and he had tried to find Arthur, but he had no luck. Normally when he was extremely upset he would be found in the training ground, taking his anger out on the knights, but he was nowhere to be seen!

"Gwen?" Merlin knocked on her door.

"Come in Merlin, what is it giant Moths?" she teased as she stirred her dinner around in a large pot.

The look on Merlin's face knocked the smile from hers "What is it?" she immediately approached him.

"It's Arthur, have you seen him?" the confused look on Gwen's face told him she had not.

"What is going on?" Gwen asked worried.

Merlin closed the door and leaned against it "Uther is forcing him to marry Princess Izabel"

Gwen felt like someone had just ran a sword through her chest and she grabbed her heart in pain.

"He refused, they argued and then Arthur left and hasn't been seen since" Worry consumed Merlin's, normally he would be involved in _all_ Arthur's plans good or bad.

So many different emotions ran through Gwen's mind that she felt weak and had to sit down.

Merlin leaned over and placed his hand on hers "When Uther finds out he is missing in the morning he will take this village apart looking for him"

Gwen stood up tears now falling down her cheek, Merlin pulled her into a hug "We must find him Merlin" tears stained his tunic.

She knew this day would come, that one day Arthur would find a princess, but she had always imagined he would fall in love with another, not be forced to make that commitment.

"WHERE IS HE!" Uther shouted at Merlin as he stormed around Arthur's chambers.

"I do not know sire" Merlin avoided eye contact with him. The only thing that Merlin knew was that a small amount of clothes and his gold had gone.

Uther now stood in front of him his hand going around his neck "He tells you everything, now tell me WHERE HE IS?" he lifted Merlin up by his neck.

"I...don't...know..." He said gasping for breath. Uther's eyes were dark and he was going to kill Arthur's servant, after he extracted the information about where he was.

"SIRE..." Sir Leon came in "I have an update" he said urgently.

This finally snapped Uther out of his blind rage and he released his hand causing Merlin to slump to the floor holding onto his throat gasping for air.

Sir Leon looked with concern between the King and Merlin "WELL" Uther spat with venom.

"His horse has been taken and two guards have been found unconscious at the eastern entrance...I will ride out immediately in search of him" Uther raised his hand to Leon "Do whatever it takes to bring him back to me!" Uther stormed out and Sir Leon helped Merlin to his feet.

"Are you alright?" Sir Leon asked as Merlin felt around his neck.

"Thanks to you, I am" Merlin sat on the bed.

Leon went to go but before he did her turned around and placed something in Merlin's hand it was piece of gold "He said to tell you, that you were a rubbish servant and to go and find something you _are_ good at" Leon chuckled.

"You know where he is?" Merlin spoke quietly so as not to be heard.

Sir Leon sighed, he had helped Arthur escape and had wanted to go with him, but he had insisted that he stay and take care of Merlin and Camelot. "I only know that he will be long gone from here now!" Leon turned and left.

Merlin sighed, he would not forgive himself for yesterday, when Arthur had gone into see his father, Merlin had taken the opportunity to skive off, taking a walk around the lakes. He had not been there when Arthur needed him and now he would probably never see him again, he felt a lump in his throat as he looked around his now empty chambers. His destiny had been to see Arthur become the King of Camelot and now he had nothing left, he sat back down on Arthur's bed and a tear fell down his cheek.

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The next few days had been the worst in Gwen's life an emptiness had consumed her and heart ached so much that she found it hard to breathe.

She picked up the chairs from her floor caused by the careless guards searching for Arthur, they had searched and pretty much destroyed every house in their pursuits, all of which had been fruitless. Sir Leon had returned late into the night also with no news, only a lost trail somewhere in King Alian's land. Arthur was long gone, tears fell down her cheek and onto her floor as she picked up broken pottery and placed it on her table. Why did he not say goodbye? Did he not think to take her with him? She sobbed into her hands!

"Guinevere" she turned around, her eyes blurry with tears, she wiped them with the sleeve of her dress, there was no one there!

Gwen half laughed to herself, had she become that pathetic that she could hear voices in her head! She turned back around and continued picking up broken items.

"Guinevere!" she heard her name again and turned around, out of the shadow the familiar figure of Arthur came forward with a big smile on his face.

The sheer joy of seeing him caused her to launch herself at him and he held her tight "I thought" she pulled back to look at him and then hit him on the chest.

"OW"

"I thought you had left without saying goodbye" she hit him again and again and then wrapped her arms back around in a hug of relief.

"No of course not, I have been here all the time" she pulled back from him.

"Where?" he reached out and rubbed the tears from her cheek and he looked a little guilty.

"Well um, around here" he ran his hands through his golden hair awkwardly and her eyes went wide.

"In my house...you all the time here?" she said incoherently.

The truth is he felt guilty, he had been hiding in her house, at night was the worst, when she would come home and cry herself to sleep he wanted nothing more than to hold her, to tell her he was alright. But for her safety he had to wait until they had given up looking for him.

"Yes, I am sorry I should have...OW...hmmm" she hit him again this time right across his face and then she kissed him with so much force that he nearly fell backwards.

Gwen finally pulled off of him, a faint outline of her hand still on his face...she bit her lip "Sorry" he looked so confused.

"Um...not at all maybe I should leave more often" he stepped back just in case that earned him another slap.

She laughed "No" Arthur's stomach grumbled loudly, causing him to feel a little embarrassed.

"Have you not eaten?" she immediately pulled herself from his hold and started grabbing items from the kitchen.

"Well I have had a little bit here and there" he admitted watching as she began chopping vegetables up.

It dawned on her "Apples?" she had noticed her stock dwindling lately but put it down to the local children.

"Sorry about that" Arthur smiled.

"So where have you been hiding?" A blush went across her cheeks, she had changed her clothes several times in this house over the last few days! Had he seen her?

Arthur looked a bit awkward and she blushed even redder as the only place to hide came to her, he had hidden in her changing area "ARTHUR!"

"I didn't see...much" he looked to his boots a slight pink tinge now across his own face.

She looked at him sternly and then laughed "Much?"

He looked at her chopping up bits and realised she was not angry merely embarrassed "Well I might have noticed a shoulder" he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Just a shoulder?" she enquired, her heart beat faster in anticipation for his answer.

He kissed her neck "I am a man of honour Guinevere" he held her a tighter.

She chuckled "Really, a man of honour?...so you just saw my shoulder then?" she teased as she tried to concentrate on the task at hand making soup.

He didn't answer and she just sighed...for a few moments it seemed as if life was normal, that they were just a couple in love, with his arms wrapped around her as she made him dinner. But life was not normal, the wolves were at the door and the jokes and flirting had to stop. "If the King finds you here..." he stopped kissing her neck.

"He won't" why would he look again at a maids house "I am just sorry I put you through all this" he moved away from her and she instantly missed the warmth of his arms.

Gwen sighed "Mercia are threatening war" she hated bringing it up, why should she care about the fate of Camelot, wasn't Arthur's happiness more important? It should be...

"I know" he said quietly interrupting her thoughts.

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They now sat hidden from view in front of her fire, they had eaten in silence both lost in their thoughts.

"What are you going to do?" Gwen broke the silence and moved closer to him.

Arthur sighed and threw a bit of broken wood into the fire "Leave"

She felt sick at that thought, Arthur shifted closer "Marry me?" he lifted her delicate hand and placed it on his lips.

"Arthur?" she searched his eyes for any form of jest, but there was none.

"We could become Sir William and Mrs Sir William" he half laughed and so did Gwen.

"You were born to be King Arthur, not Sir William, not just Arthur" Gwen reached out and rubbed his face. As much as she wanted to say yes, to ride of into sunset with her prince charming, she could not do that, he should not do that.

"I don't want that without you Guinevere you know that" he looked away from her and to crackling fire so she did not see the tears forming.

"We cannot be, for the love of Camelot... Arthur we cannot" she pulled his face back to look at her and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, he closed his eyes.

"I know" he whispered and a tear fell down her cheek. "But with everything I am I need you Guinevere...I cannot live a life of darkness in the arms of another women. I want to bask in the sun Guinevere, you are my sun!"

Gwen placed her hands on his face and kissed him again "I love you Arthur, I love you more than I knew possible...but can we walk away and live with blood on our hands? Your father will never stop looking for you!...the fate of Camelot is sealed without you, you know that" A few tears betrayed him and fell onto his cheek, Gwen kissed them away.

"I don't know anymore, I can't marry _her_. If I did, you might as well run a sword through my heart and put me out of my misery; Without you Guinevere, without the hope of us...I have not the taste to walk this life"

"Don't say that! Please Arthur...we will find a way" her words tickled his lips and in amongst the tears and the heartache he kissed her as if he was holding onto his last breath.

A knock on the door finally broke them apart. Arthur hid from view and Gwen quickly wiped the tears from her face "Just a minute"

She grabbed the two bowls and hid them under her bed, she straightened her dress and opened the door.

"Merlin" she said in relief, she grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him indoors closing and bolting the door behind him.

He had a large book in his hands "Gwen, what's going on?" he looked at her suspiciously.

Arthur came out of the shadows "Merlin"

Without thinking Merlin ran up and pulled the young prince into a hug, when he realised what he had done they both moved back awkwardly causing Gwen to laugh.

"You have been hiding here then?" Merlin couldn't help but smile

Arthur looked at Gwen "I only realised tonight Merlin" Gwen said now walking to stand by Arthur.

"I am not going back Merlin" Arthur said and reached out and took Guinevere's hand, she looked confused "I have thought on the consequences of my actions, but I will not marry for any other reason than love" he felt a bit awkward with his confession, but he did not have the energy to listen to Merlin also telling him how wrong leaving was.

Merlin smiled wider and then laughed "Well I am glad you find my predicament amusing Merlin!"

"What if I told you, you don't have to marry Princess Izabel?" Arthur looked from Merlin to Guinevere a confused expression on his face.

"What if I told you that a certain princess is shall we say, _not so royal after all_!"

"Talk sense Merlin" Arthur felt like he had a glimmer of hope for the first time in days.

"It appears that after her first child, she was unable to conceive again" Merlin stated with a grin on his face.

Arthurs face lit up "Her first child was Anthony, so Izabel is not of royal blood?... have you proof? How did you find this out?"

Merlin waved the book in his hand "It appears that Mercia's old physician was in fact a friend of Gauis's and just before he passed away he sent all his old book's, including a very interesting log of all medical procedures he undertook...and the birth of one Izabel from an unknown servant" Arthur grabbed the book from him and started scanning "Including dates, names etc" he put it on the correct page and Arthurs look of concentration turned into a smile. He then picked Guinevere up and span her around in joy. He then grabbed Merlin into a bone crushing hug.

Gwen moved back as the sounds Merlin and Arthur laughing. The truth was as great as this information was, it meant something deeper than that. He could not marry someone who is not of royal blood but been brought up as a princess, then could he really use this information to stop the marriage and then years down the line...expect them to ignore the fact that she was just a servant. No they could not, so in this small victory echoed a greater heart ache...she took a few deep breaths 'for the love of Camelot' she whispered and walked up and kissed Merlin on the cheek "Thank you"

xxxxxx

Arthur changed into clean clothes for his return to Camelot. Merlin had gone to see Gauis, who had been charged with giving Uther this new information and then Arthur would appear when the signal was given that the coast was clear.

Gwen busied herself with cleaning, tears falling on the counter and she quickly wiped them away "What do you think?" she turned around to see Arthur standing there in a new tunic, clean trousers and his red cloak.

"You look like Prince Arthur" she smiled though her heart broke.

Merlin popped his head around the door "Gauis has returned and Uther is really fired up to declare war on Mercia for the lies" he smiled.

"Well then I guess I should go and talk some sense into him" Arthur smiled, Merlin looked between the two of them.

"I will wait outside" he closed the door and Arthur approached Guinevere.

He brushed a curl from her cheek "It's not too late to change your mind, I could still be William" she launched into his arms so he could not see the tears that threatened to fall.

"You are Prince Arthur, future King of Camelot" she took a deep breath and looked at him "And you will be the greatest king this land has ever known" she smiled at him proudly and leant up placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Good luck"

Arthur didn't know what else to say, so he reluctantly took his arms from her, nodded and walked away, as the door closed her heart broke into pieces. "_For the love of Camelot_" she repeated and closed her eyes as the tears fell onto her floor!


End file.
